Blog #2-More words with L.Roy
And now a few words from L.Roy Crow
Hey Folks, just wanted to catch you up on some goings on down here at the beer making plant. Busy place these days.
People have been tellin’ us that we need to get the word out on Shanked Beer, you know, do some marketing and such. Well, as luck would have it the good Reverend Nathaniel Winesipper down at the Norton’s Corners First Methodist Church and Leather Craft Emporium told me after a “Jesus loves you, put money in the plate” session, that his nephew Darnell is a marketer. In fact, he said Darnell was the biggest marketer in the area. He said Darnell even knew about somethin’ he called “social media”. I didn’t have no idea what social media was. When the Rev walked away I whispered to Uncle Herb Crow, “What’s social media?”
“A rash,” he said. Herb is a man of few words but he’s what they call “insightful”.
Well, anyway, GT, Uncle Herb and me met with Darnell anyway and let me tell ya, Reverend Winesipper wasn’t lying when he said Darnell was the biggest marketer around. That boy weighed 20 pounds less than
a new Buick and was as wide as a John Deere four bottom plow. But he was ready to talk . So, we all sat down to listen as he got up in front of us saying he had studied our product in detail and he had developed a marketing plan that could not fail. GT nodded. I nodded. Uncle Herb spit chaw juice into a pop bottle he was carrying.
“This plan is revolutionary!” Darnell said. I nodded. GT nodded. Herb spit in the bottle.
Then he pulled one of them new phones from his pocket and and put it in front of us and said “Watch this new TikTok Shanked Beer marketing video.”
I was about to ask what TikTok was when suddenly there was a movie of Darnell himself in nothin’ but skintight swim trunks holding a can of Shanked in front of a new tattoo of a Siamese cat on his bare belly while dancing around to “Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra. I stared. GT stared. Uncle Herb swallered his tobacco juice.
Darnell was on this here TikTok a gyratin’ and hopping around with a big old smile on his face like he had sense. I said” If you look at his left but cheek, I do believe he’s got a tattoo of the state flag.”
“Nope,” Uncle Herb said.” It’s a mole.”
“Damn big mole.”
“Not as big as the dimple it sets in.”
The TikTok thing finally stopped and I thought we could escape but suddenly Darnell whipped out a jar from somewhere and unscrewed the lid, pushed it in our faces and said “Sniff!”
“Believe I’ll pass,” I said.
But he was persistent, and as big as he was we couldn’t get by him to get to the door, so sniff we did. Smelled like last weeks work socks.
“Do you know what this is?” He asked.
“Smells like some K-Y that sat in the sun a bit long,” I said.
“Beer Jelly! Don’t you see? Now folks can have beer for breakfast the old fashioned way. Instead of PB and J they can PBB and J! Peanut butter and beer jelly.”
We slipped out the door while he was digging through some cabinets in search of bread or biscuits to try his invention on.
Later as we sat in Booger and Moot’s House of Ale sipping a cold Shanked at the bar I said,” Man, this marketing stuff is hard.”
“Nope,” Uncle Herb said,” Tain’t hard.”
Then he took a sip and smiled,” This is easy.”
I took a sip and I knew he was right, tastin’ is believin’, “
So, take a taste folks, I bet you agree.
As we sat there enjoying our beer looking out the window watching the sunset, Uncle Herb said, “Like I told you boys, I just as soon hear a fat boy fart as an old man cry.”
He is insightful.